The most important change is implementing Step 1 of the Twelve Steps. Abstinence permits all the other positive changes in Recovery to occur.
It is often said that in the first year of Recovery, no major changes (such as a move or a change in relationships) should be made. However, moving out of a dangerous, drug-infested neighbourhood or ending a toxic, abusive, alcohol/drug-fueled relationship should probably occur in the first year and these are both examples of major changes; in my opinion, there are no hard and fast rules with respect to changes in the first year.
It IS true that changes are potentially dangerous in the first year because our thinking may be distorted in early Recovery. In making decisions, especially big decisions, we should rely on input from others in the program, especially our sponsor and people with extensive sober/clean time and wisdom.
It is also true that the geographical cure (moving out of a dangerous, drug-infested neighbourhood) is not enough if it is the only change that is made. Changing “people, places and things” is important in getting rid of toxic external factors but we must change ourselves too. We must undergo a complete internal change.
In the first year of Recovery, we must try to develop a “Higher Power consciousness” of our understanding. This is an example of internal change and is an answer and an antidote to the powerlessness and unmanageability of our addiction described in Step 1.
Another example of internal change is the transition from emotional stunting and stultification characteristic of early Recovery to the reacquiring of emotions and feelings. This may take many months and is largely a passive process, outside of our control. This is a good time to remember the Serenity Prayer. Some things just have to take their natural course but if we remain abstinent, the initial emotional deadening of early Recovery and the subsequent emotional rollercoaster both dissipate and we become human beings again. Try to pay attention to the things that can be changed and less attention to those things that can’t be changed (or that will only slowly change with time), which is what the Serenity Prayer is all about.
A misguided goal early in Recovery is to “get things back to normal”. Many wish to return to the “good times” before their addiction really took over but careful reflection may reveal that things weren’t really that good. Real Recovery means that one’s thinking is transformed into something entirely new. When one’s thinking changes for the better in Recovery, it is very often incompatible with past behaviours.
Health professionals must often remain off work in early Recovery for up to one to two years. This is generally a longer period off work than for other professions or jobs. This length of time off work is itself a major change. Sometimes, health professionals in Recovery find that they no longer can or want to continue in their present profession and therefore change careers.
In advanced Recovery, major changes no longer seem so big. They simply become incorporated into the new lifestyle to promote Recovery. Changes now seem obvious and natural. They “feel” right.
What used to be boredom and loneliness is now the contentment of regular, balanced solitude: one of the necessary changes is claiming time for oneself (see Blog 56).
Major change in early Recovery can be very stressful and this carries the risk of relapse. Increasing meeting frequency and regular step work with one’s sponsor will reduce this risk.
As our Recovery progresses, we find we can more easily handle stress, free of drugs and alcohol. What a change that is from our previous knee-jerk response!
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