The disease of addiction can still bite, even after many years of Recovery. Complacency is the greatest enemy. We can never take abstinence for granted.
Routine and structure provide stability but fine tuning our Recovery every so often (for example, with service work) keeps things fresh. As long as our circumstances remain stable, we keep doing what has already been shown to work. However, being adaptable to changing circumstances helps prevent relapse: for example, during periods of stress, we should increase our meeting attendance.
Initially, all we wanted out of Recovery was our jobs and our relationships returned to us. In advanced Recovery, we found to our surprise that we received so much more than this. (In fact, in some cases, we never got our old jobs and relationships back – but if we persevered and didn’t throw in the towel, we discovered that we eventually ended up in a much better place).
The further along we are in our Recovery, the more we find gratitude replaces feelings of despondency and anger. Along with this, we practice honesty, open-mindedness (to new ideas), and willingness (to accept feedback, both good and bad). Advanced Recovery usually brings with it inner growth and increased insight into one’s character defects. Socrates’ injunction to “know thyself” becomes a reality with the help of Steps 4 to 7 and one’s sponsor. We can accept and admit our mistakes promptly (Step 10) without defending or denying them and we make amends much faster than before.
Many of those who get additional help from psychologists/psychiatrists have stated that they first needed a strong Recovery for their alcoholism/addiction before engaging in/committing to psychotherapy. This is in keeping with the observation that the further along we get in our Recovery, the more individualized and tailored our needs become. Psychotherapy may become a necessary and useful adjunct for some of us in Recovery.
What keeps us returning to the meetings, even after years of sobriety/clean time/ Recovery?
Drugs/alcohol used to be fun in the very beginning. The fun turned into a dull routine after a while. Eventually, drugs and alcohol became a necessity. Recovery works in the opposite order. Meetings start off as a necessity. They then become a routine. Finally, if one sticks around in the program long enough, the meetings become fun and enjoyable. It is this enjoyment that keeps us going to meetings many years into Recovery. In fact, the program has to be something we enjoy if our Recovery is going to be successful and long-lasting. The continued connection with friends in Recovery ensures our continued attendance.
Some “advanced” members take on sponsees – this is an excellent way to grow and to stay involved and connected in the program. In the sponsor-sponsee process, sponsors sometimes learn more about the Steps than the sponsees!
Others who are advanced in Recovery have learned to practice introspection and solitude (see Blog 56), but always within the framework of connectivity and fellowship. No matter how much progress we have made, we continue to heed good advice. We continue to be receptive. We continue to borrow ideas from others in the program. We strive to remain humble. This humility is also what keeps us coming back to the meetings.
This doesn’t mean that we cut ourselves off from the rest of society. There is life outside of the meetings. Regular exercise, hobbies and outside interests, safe friendships outside of the program, all help us stay clean and sober. The 12 Steps and Recovery meetings are not a cult. They do not take place in a vacuum. The purpose of Recovery is to reintegrate into society.
We do not have to believe in a traditional supernatural God as a Higher Power. The collective conscience of the group can serve as a Higher Power. The most important concept to grasp is that I am NOT the Higher Power. This kind of humility is what carries us through years of continuous and uninterrupted abstinence and Recovery.
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